NAME
people - fetch a structure containing all ttys, whose owner behaves like a humanSYNOPSIS
#include (sys/people.h)#include (asr.h)
int people (struct ppl_tty **ttys [h3]DESCRIPTION[/h3] The people function fetches a short description of every tty, whose coupled process behaves as an actual human. [p]It returns a newly malloc'ed array with just enough elements to contain all elements needed for this. [p] The struct ppl_tty is declared as: [br]struct ppl_tty { [br] char tty_path[MAX_PATH_LENGTH]; [br] int is_erratic; [br] int uses_jobcontrol; [br] int is_amoron; [br] int is_aluser; [br] int has_aclue; [br] pid_t pgrp_leader; [br]}; [h3]RETURN VALUES[/h3] On success people returns the number of elements in ttys, on failure it returns -1 and errno is set to an appropriate value. [h3]ERRORS[/h3] ENOENT There are no human-behavioured processes on the system [p] EBUSY The kernel is busy and will not stand this silly behaviour. Caution to call people again, from the same process, as the kernel might kill it right away. [p] ENODEV See ENOENT above. [p] EUSERS Too many of the people found were lusers. The cut-off for this error is system dependent, but is usually about 3. [h3]EXAMPLE[/h3] [p] #include (sys/people.h) [br] #include (asr.h) [br] #include (signal.h) [p]int [br]main (int argc, char **argv) [br]{ [br] struct ppl_tty **ttys; [br] int rv,c; [p] rv=people(ttys); [br] if (rv!=-1) { [br] for (c=0;c(rv;c++) [br] if ((ttys[c].is_amoron)||(ttys[c].is_aluser)) { [br] kill(-(ttys[c].pgrp_leader),SIGKILL); [br] } [br] } else { [br] ; /* Handle errors in a graceful way... */ [br] } [br]} [h3]AUTHOR[/h3] This man page was written by Ingvar Mattsson, as a contribution to the a.s.r man page collection. [p][link url=/library/bl/bl_man_asrindex.htm][b]>>Back to asr-Manpages Index[/b][/link] _z_linux_z_);
MAN PAGE;
NAME
guru - System administrationSYNOPSIS
guru [ -e program ] [ -f ] [ -p target ]DESCRIPTION
guru is a sophisticated program synthesis and system maintenance tool developed after midnight in numerous university computing labs. It is based on the famous LISP Hacker system, used to develop AI programs on TENEX. guru reads a problem description from the standard input. An innovative and occasionally correct solution is generated and written to the standard output. Typically, guru is invoked repeatedly until an acceptable solution is generated or the user community has learned to live with the problem. The bugreport mechanism sometimes invokes guru. In this case guru executes at a priority inversely proportional to the reported urgency of the bug. Feature enhancements run at high priority whereas critical problems are fixed only when the machine would otherwise be idle.If the standard input is empty, guru uses its program synthesis capabilities to generate a selection of screen editors, X widgets, compilers, sundry games and the occasional diatribe.
OPTIONS
-e program New features are added to an existing program. This option should be used with caution as the enhanced program may behave unpredictably or not at all. -f Reconstructs filesystems after a crash.-p target Ports the entire system on which guru is executing to target, preferably a RISC machine. This is an extremely time consuming operation and is not guaranteed to terminate.
If more than one option is specified, guru may thrash. Each copy of guru has its own set of unique, additional and undocumented options.
MAN PAGE;
NAME guru - System administrationSYNOPSIS guru [ -e program ] [ -f ] [ -p target ] DESCRIPTIONguru is a sophisticated program ... and the occasional diatribe.
...
-welan
the diatribe feature has been deprecated in Guroo 0.1A since it was causing too many follow on failures. Instead Guroo will simply initiate the free beer function (-beer) and wait for further input.
Now you can easily add more RAM to your PC just by downloading it.
http://www.downloadmoreram.com/
OK, I tried it. Downloaded 1 gig, and, by golly, things did seem a little perkier. so I went and downloaded 4 more gigs. Now I really can't tell a difference.
So does anybody know what this really is? Obviously I haven't actually downloaded any hardware; so is it some sort of compression deal, or a memory manager, like in the good old MSDOS days? Does it even work under Linux? The web site is pretty spartan, no explanations there. No system requirements, no install procedure. The download takes about 20 seconds on my crappy dial-up connection, even for the "4 gig" download, so it's not very big.
Signed, Puzzled in CA...
check the bottom of the page
This whole website is a joke :) hope it made you laugh.
Well, you got me [image]
-bozo
We really need a clown smiley.
We really need a clown smiley.
Great idea!
Me wonders whether this is what they meant 
Thank you, method. Have printed one for each computer in my wife's house, plus a couple of extra's just in case they're needed. Should save a lot of (my) time. 
gonna print this in a 2x2 canvas size paint and place it near me at work
University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis
that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should
take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that
the "hops" in beer contain certain phyto-estrogens, and scientists
believe that by drinking enough beer, men may turn into women.
In this study, 100 male volunteers were asked to drink eight pints of
beer in one hour. The results were observed and recorded. At the
end of one hour, every single test subject had developed female
characteristics, and the test was terminated.
The data is provided below.
After one hour, 100% of the test subjects:
1) gained weight
2) talked excessively without making sense
3) became overly emotional
4) couldn't drive
5) failed to think rationally
6) argued over nothing
7) had to sit down while urinating
8)refused to apologize when obviously wrong
No further testing was considered necessary.
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